You take time away from your walk or exercise and maybe even lose a bit of sleep to help your friend write their resume. You put your chores on hold to help your children with their chores and homework. You make each child or family member a slightly different meal because they won't eat certain things. You work overtime out of the goodness of your heart and sometimes you even eat lunch at your desk to meet a deadline.
You give and give because you just love to help out. That’s who you are. You have a big heart and it makes you feel good to support others when they’re struggling.
So why are you feeling so exhausted and depleted, when you do these things from a place of care and giving?
When you give so much of yourself, that you put your own needs on the back burner and things pile up, and up and up, you might be someone who gives too much.
What does that mean to give too much? Is that even possible? Isn’t it a virtue to give?
It does make you feel good. So why is this such a problem?
When you give so much that you are depleted, you are not helping anyone, especially yourself.
Yes, giving makes you feel good. It warms your heart to do the little things for your partner or to do something kind for a stranger or co-worker. But when you give and give and give some more, it feels like you’re digging into the bottom of the barrel, perhaps you’re giving too much.
You know, like when you say “yes” to something but the little voice in your head is screaming “NO”. And, you’re already planning on how to get out of it, even before you’ve helped that friend move apartments for the third time this year.
Or, maybe you go ahead and help out, but you feel resentful the whole time. Building up frustration toward them and maybe even toward yourself.
You need to listen to that little voice. That is your intuition telling you that your actions are out of alignment with your true feelings. And, no, that doesn’t mean, don’t help that person. It just means, perhaps you need to slow down and consider whether or not you have the time, energy, patience, etc to actually give away.
I like to think of time and energy in the same way that you think about $money$.
If you have $100 in your pocket, you for sure can give some or even all of it away. But if you give away all $100, there will be nothing left for you. And, if you only have $100, you can’t give 150. And, some days, you might wake up with only $60 in your pocket, 60% energy because you did help out with that resume the night before. Then that is all you can give away. You cannot give 100% because you only have 60. And, you probably want to reserve a little for you, so you’re not feeling like a puddle on the floor at the end of the day.
So tell me….. do you give too much?
What do you do to remind yourself to save some of that time, energy, patience for YOU?
If you want a hand to build boundaries and take better care of YOU, call or email today to book a counselling or spiritual life coaching session.
コメント